


Would you like to hear it in Spanish? (Part I.)

by youngjusticewriter



Series: How to save a life. [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: BAMF Lily Evans Potter, Crack, Do Not Take Seriously, F/M, James Lives, Lily Lives, Slight Dumbledore Bashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-25 03:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12521952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngjusticewriter/pseuds/youngjusticewriter
Summary: "What do you mean no? It’s the perfect plan!” Lily turned her Avada Kedavra eyes on James. Sirius felt pity for his best mate. He also felt guilty. James was under the Evans (now Potter) glare of doom because he was backing Sirius’ plan up.“I mean no. Would you like to hear it  in Spanish? No.” Lily told them off firmly.





	Would you like to hear it in Spanish? (Part I.)

“No,” Lily said simply. Sirius winced. He knew that tone. He hated that tone. Why? Because whenever Lily used it she always got her way.

Every single bloody time. 

Couldn’t she see how perfect this plan was? Everyone would expect him- he had been James' first friend, his brother in all but blood, the best man at their wedding- to be the secret keeper. No one would suspect Peter.

“What do you mean no? It’s the perfect plan!” Lily turned her Avada Kedavra eyes on James. Sirius felt pity for his best mate. He also felt guilty. James was under the Evans (now Potter) glare of doom because he was backing Sirius’ plan up.

“I mean no. Would you like to hear it in Spanish? No.” Lily told them off firmly.

Silence followed that felt like an hour before Sirius’ best mate opened his mouth. 

"Why?” James simply asked calmly. (You were more likely to win an argument against Lily if you were calm during the argument.)

“Peter’s animagus is rat,” Lily reminded them. Her voice soft like James’ had been. They were past the angry emotionally part of the argument Sirius recognised. They now were in the part of the argument where they didn’t want to fight with one and another but they weren’t going to back down because they were both too stubborn for their own good.

“I know his is your best friend since Hogwarts but I will not put my trust and the lives of the two people in the world I love the most in a man whose physical representation is rat; a snitch. Even if you both trust him. This is also my decision as well. Sirius I want you to be our secret keeper. 

\- 

In the end Lily got her way like she always did when she got that tone of voice. Harry grew up with parents and Sirius never went to Azkaban. Voldemort never “died” that night and Harry never became a Horcrux but he still got dragged into the war.

During his first year his DA turned out to be a Death Eater (“You would think that professors at Hogwarts would have their arm check whilst the English wizarding world was at war with Voldemort and his Death Eaters but no that would be something of common sense which everybody but Snape, Remus and I lack. Also while I’m not a Quidditch fan but aren’t first years not allowed to play Quidditch?”) who was tried killing Harry for Voldmort.

Second year Harry’s best mate’s little sister, Ginny had been idiot. She had done the wizarding equivalent of talking about oneself too much - to a point of danger - to a person you don’t know online but towards a talking diary. Which later possessed her and made her release a Basilisk onto the school. The diary turned out to be Voldemort's younger self. (Lily Evans Potter had not been pleased. 1.) What moron writes back to a diary that can write by itself? 2.) James you're going to be DA teacher next year because Dumbledore doesn’t seem to know - wait Remus is going to be the next DA? I’m so glad for you Remus. I’m also happy because I know you won’t harm a hair on Harry. Quirrell should be glad Harry killed in self defense before I could get my hands on him and Lockhart should be glad he’s a patient at St. Mungus.") 

Third year went relatively smooth but sadly Remus had to quit because Snape had dropped the bomb on Remus’ furry little secret.

Fourth year had been...well something. Lily had forbidden Harry, being James’ son, from trying to maraudering his name in the Goblet of Fire. Harry kept the promise he made to his mother but his name still ended up in the Goblet and of course he was bloody well picked as the fourth champion. Despite Lily’s howlers- Oh if thought Molly’s howler was bad Lily’s was torture. Thank you Merlin that Lily is my wife not my mother, James had thought after that incident - she sent to Dumbledore and the Ministry Harry still competed but with advice from his mom, his dad, his godfather, Uncle Moony, and with Hermione tutoring he managed to keep on top (Using accio - per his mother advice - for the golden egg had left many in the crowd in shock.) Then after Harry returned from the graveyard Lily went to a gun shop and bought herself a sniper rifle to go kill the albino wizard without a noise for daring to attempt to kill her son because of a stupid prophecy. Let's see who is inferior now after you saw hello to my little metal bullet.

Harry was home schooled instead of going to his fifth year to Hogwarts because of the track record of Lily’s son being endangered. The three leftover Marauders and Lily went horcrux hunting while Harry stayed in at home with Dobby whilst being tutored by Mad Eye Moody (the real one not the the Death Eater - yes there had been another Death Eather Dumbledore hired!) and other Order of the Phoenix members. It was a good thing Harry was homeschooled because the DA professor that year used a illegal blood quill on the students she was suppose to teach and protect. 

In the end, the greatest dark wizard in wizarding history was brought down by a werewolf, a mudblood with a sniper rifle, a prankster that turned into a deer, both the Black brothers (which caused a toxic and saddening mixture of emotions for Sirius once he learnt the truth of his brother's death or more accurately sacrifice), and a grumpy old and perhaps a bit mad house elf known as Kreacher. (Which honestly shouldn't be surprising since the four marauders could do what Death could not when they were still teenagers in school but a lot of people didn't know about that bit.) 

They were assuredly the weirdest group to bring down a dark lord but the wizarding world of Britain was none the less thankful. 

Harry Potter managed to eventually marry and have kids (which, thankfully, he didn't name any of them after Albus otherwise there would have been a howler from his mother). All wasn't well because life wasn't easy nor would it ever be (It didn't help the wizarding world suffered from lack of common sense from their inbreeding.) but it was better. And that was all one could hope for.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this months ago right before I posted 'Pretty lies and ugly truth.'
> 
> [Tumblr.](http://whenthemarshmallowmettheslayer.tumblr.com)


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